A closed mouth doesn't get fed

Life is about compromises, even for the ones who can have anything they want. Life is a kaleidoscope of uncertainties that are certain, changes that are constant, and a constantly changing pool of problems for everyone to solve. We mostly tend to let our parochial take on life limit everything to the financial strength we possess. It isn't all wrong, in fairness, but most of the time it's not about problems money can solve. Most of our struggles, could be eased with financial muscle, but that's not down to the problem-solving nature of money itself. It's down to the indirect influence it has on a variety of things.

Anyway, I wasn't even going to talk about money in the first place. I was forced to make a compromise and write a whole paragraph about it. Such is the power of "compromise" in our lives. Even the title of this essay is a result of a compromise I had to make while looking for an exact translation of a famous proverb in my native language, which literally translates to "Those who talk more, sell their flour." The title was the closest I could settle for.

The proverb mentioned here is something I have been trying to make sense of for years. I am not sure if it's a cultural thing, or our conditioning, or our values. It is a general notion in the society in which I have grown up that talking gets things done, and therefore it is expected that everyone is able to have a very strong command of communicating. While it is not necessarily a bad thing in its own right, but sometimes the expectation places a huge burden on a certain section of people who are not able to exhibit the level of communication skills they inherently possess. I am not including people with social anxiety or other pathological conditions here because that would be a totally different scenario altogether. Some people have significant levels of social skills they fail to properly utilise, causing them to not be able to sell their proverbial "flour", and therefore being left behind in certain situations, or get their tasks completed.

Our society expects everyone to be innately confident. It has a set barometer of social skills, and everyone is expected to be in sync with a certain level one way or another. I think this makes life difficult for people who are not particularly outspoken, do not have the skills to convince, or sometimes are unable to ask for assistance. I think it is unfair that such people are left behind simply because they didn't develop the skills required for whatever reason or get nervous, awkward, and uncomfortable when trying to coerce people. The power to convince in this context is totally different from the one that pressurises people into getting their tasks done.

I am unsure if I can make this bold generalisation, but our society is unfortunately not a welcome environment for introverted people. I also do not understand how instead of focusing on making things easier for everyone, we tend to convince some people that the weakness lies within themselves and that they are responsible for the lack of service or assistance offered because of their occasional inability to be "loud" or "verbose." I am not particularly convinced those traits are assets everybody should possess. I have personally been a victim of this societal trend on numerous occasions. I am not even a socially awkward person to begin with, and I possess the ability to ask questions and occasionally raise my voice when I am not being attended, but the problem lies in when I have reached my optimum capacity.

I tend to give up at some point and be left ignored where someone who could pester further could get their work done. I let people who come with some stupid fake urgency overtake me in queues, let some people with made-up problems take my seat, compromise with the services I am provided even when they are far off from what had been initially agreed, and so on. All of these are not because of my awkwardness or inability to speak up, but because of my reservations about displaying agitation and irritation. It is not that hard to learn from people anyway. I know the tricks; I know what it takes, but some part of me is simply not able to go down that road. The immense pressure I put myself under simply becomes unworthy of all the fuss.

I try my best every day to open my mouth and get fed. I try to do my utmost to get myself out of that vortex of discomfort and comply with the standards set by the society I live in. It is something you learn over time, but I still believe there are two types of people, and those from one of the two categories always bear the brunt of not being loud, talkative, vocal, a borderline nuisance, or so pestering that people are forced to give them attention and get their piece of business done. I personally believe that getting an errand accomplished should not be dependent on people's ability to force their social skills. They should be done anyway. That is the only way to ensure everybody gets fed, and not just the ones who are not shy about things to say and possess that invisible weapon of persuasion society believes everybody should possess.