I might be self-surprised at this alarming level of
plethoric cynicism I got exposed to, but I know it will all make sense if I
care to put it in words and lay this hideous abhorrence to rest. Well, to begin
with, it is not a made up issue. It is a ubiquitous fog of an underlying mayhem
that veils (and for a hopeless realist, will keep concealing) this country
forever. If it is permitted, and if the
authenticity could be justified, I have a terminology for it. A word, for the
whole commotion that summarises our society to the closest, most coherent
definition. The word, I so vociferously came up with, is “Nepalitarian”. The
noun-ing, verb-ing, et cetera of the word are highly satisfactory too. You can
actually see Nepalitarianism at play, almost everywhere. Most of the time it’s
for your humiliation, and the rest of the time, you are leading it. In reality,
it is a highly contagious belief/doctrine/philosophy that sums up the “Nepalese
way of life” that perfectly highlights everything from our deficiencies to
malignancies, insecurities, carelessness, shame and/or lack of it, mediocrity
(and how content we are with our mediocrity), and how easily we choose to act
ignorant to all of those set of flaws that “define” us and how bravely we play the
game of blame and how we’ve mastered it over time (we are actually brave after
all).
I went to a gas station (a fancy American term for petrol
pumps I know, but who cares, anything American is great, ain’t it? and it
sells), and asked the man there to fill up my tank. He did it so fast, I was
caught by surprise and couldn’t actually decide where to keep my eyes on. I saw
my tank was full, but when I turned around to take a look at the meter, bam!! The
numbers were gone. I thought I saw a different number there, but the man said
it was 500 bucks. I was like “What the hell!” I know it was NOT 500 bucks, it
was 4xx or something, but what were I to complain about and argue, and for how
long? That was so bloody Nepalitarian.
Nepali cravings for love sweets, candies, chocolates,
instant noodles, etc. is typical. But the thing is, we think those wrappers
they come with, are bio-degradable. We picture our streets as trash cans. If I
were to explain to someone what is the most innately Nepalitarian thing in
existence, I, for sure, would say “not bothering about dumping litters into
trash cans”. And it’s not just the habit of littering, it is the lack of that
smallest piece of common sense about the explicitly visible importance of using
trash cans, that is heinous, abominable, and despicable (although I admit there
aren’t enough trash cans around, but that is a nested loop of causes and effects).
Nepalitarianism is manifested in different forms in our
country, elsewhere as well. Artificial scarcity is so bloody Nepalitarian too.
I know an LPG dealer who brought in a lot of cylinders during the blockade
times, and yet never saw any customer get a sniff of it. I wonder what he did
with all those gas cylinders, and what kind of businessman he was. Every now
and then a grocery article goes suddenly missing from the entire market amidst
the talks about hike in its price.
I am from outside the valley, so I need to travel in buses,
a lot. And let me tell you, the environment inside a long route bus/coach is
one of the most blatantly negative places you will ever find yourself in. It’s
like a jukebox of pessimism, a kaleidoscope of incessant grumbles. The
Nepalitarianism at play there is surreal. People whining about how late the bus
took off, how slow the bus is moving, that the bus they chose not to travel in
is way ahead now, that the seats are uncomfortable, how the driver is speeding
unnecessarily, how the driver doesn’t overtake when there’s space ahead, how
they’ve caught the wrong day to travel, how the music is too loud (or soft) and
not there taste, how the movie they’ve put on is shite, that the driver stops
so frequently, that they had to arrive early and they won’t make it(because of
god knows what). Never in my life have I seen a bunch of cool people in the
entire bus, reading books, doing whatever they like without frowning and
whining. There is always at least one moron who spoils the entire environment.
The civic sense we display on our roads is diabolical, as
well as hilarious at the same time. Kids with bikes (and probably with high
levels of androgen corrupting their wisdom) thinking that their life is all
about how hard they can push their accelerators makes me feel sick.
Nepalitarianism is at play when the road users don’t give a flying fuck and keep
stopping right between the zebra crossings, traffic police succumb to the
accumulation of mobs to whom signals mean fuck all (they devise their own rules
and decide when they’re crossing the roads, and that’s not when the traffic
police or the lights signal, it’s when they’ve assembled a rather huge number
of over-buoyant, over-entitled heads). Public vehicles are a joke. Stops mean
fuck all to them. And then there’s people giving jack shit about stops and
wanting to get off wherever they feel like. It also infuriates me to the point
of eruption when some sods think that merely by giving a hand they can stop an
approaching vehicle. Also, I never understood why some of them chased the
vehicles ahead of them with such a frantic pace. It’s like what’s the deal,
what’s the point?
If Nepalitarianism is a bitter reality, it has its roots
amongst us. It is a compound of equal amounts of shamelessness and ignorance as
ingredients. Each day I try my best to avoid being a Nepalitarian, but it is
hard. Really hard. But for my consolation, at least I try every single day.
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